Welcome to my space of holding it all, together...

I'd love for you to come along this new journey with me.

A fresh blank page. A new journey. A new chapter.

Photo Credit: Brandi Redd (Unsplash)

The anticipation. The trepidation. Of the unknown. What comes next? Where will it lead? As humans, we don’t know what comes next. We often think we know what will happen today or next week/month/year but in reality, we don’t. We just have what we think we know will happen which is often why when something else happens, it can cause frustration, anger, confusion, denial…*insert any word that fits here*. What the mind usually jumps to is the negative stuff that happens, it likes to predict what happens next for security and safety but why is it that it creates the negative option as opposed to all the possibilities? Including the positive ones.

The mind and psychology fascinates me. I studied psychology A level (showing my age - do A levels even exist anymore?!) and in 2020 studied Neuroscience-lingusitic programming. Even during my many years of regular talking therapy (2011-2016), I tried to analyse how the process was working simultaneously whilst unravelling trauma and raw emotions. I have become to understand that I have a deep capacity to hold strong emotions and human vulnerability - personally and professionally as a space holder. This blog is going to be a mixture of both the personal lessons of life and stories of other humans that feel safe enough to share their stories with me. Sharing what makes us human. Holding it all because all of it is valid. I find that the hardest challenges and lessons learned are the most rewarding. I can tell you at the time of the experience I did not hold that view, it’s usually in retrospect when we have moved through the intense emotion that we are able to see the lesson.

I have also always loved writing. I much prefer traditional handwriting with pen and paper and I have a regular journaling practice - the place I let out my inner landscape out onto the page to process and witness as it unfolds. I had a long standing belief that I am not creative - a story I can remember playing in my mind and it’s possible it came externally but either way, I internalised it as a belief that held me back. What I have learned through my 30’s so far is that we are all creative as human beings. As a species, we are here to create. Yes, to procreate humans but to also create in so many ways - to manifest into the physical the inspiration that comes through us. Once I recognised that I held this self-limiting belief, I was able to explore the ways in which I wish to create. I’m not a fan of labels (something I will go into another time) so this isn’t meant as a fixed label however, I now choose to hold myself as a writer. A person who wishes to write words and hopefully create impact from those words. I don’t need global recognition or awards to hold myself as a writer. I just need the belief that I can create and my wish are for the words to resonate with other human beings upon this journey of life.

In a few days, I turn 37. I find myself becoming even more reflective when a birthday approaches. Maybe this is an in built mortality radar that humans possess. I have always been self-reflective and I have certainly been on a self-awareness journey. I love learning and in fact, it is one of my main core values in life. To learn new knowledge and skills. For many years, I have attached the meaning of success to what I achieve or where I am in my career but now, as I am about to turn 37, I have realised that my self-worth is not based upon anything external. I am inherently worthy as a human being. We all are. And so, here I am, embarking on a new journey of exploration of writing and sharing with fellow human beings. Without expectation for where it will lead or what it will mean. I commit to showing up for the love of writing and for human connection of shared vulnerability. I am curious and excited to be on this new journey of writing and creation. To fully embrace my creativity with words and seeing the magic that unfolds by sharing real life stories of the human experience. From my heart to yours.

So what can you expect from this journey? I don’t have that answer because I give myself full permission to evolve and grow. I believe humans are here to grow and evolve into new iterations. When we let go of what we once believed and held to be true, we create space for what comes next. And yes, we don’t know what comes next. So let’s hold it, the unknown, together. We’re all on the same yet very different road that is the human experience.

What you can expect from this space is honesty, vulnerability, exploration and evolvement. I don’t know how often I will write but I trust that I will show up when I have inspiration to write and see what wants to be created into word form. I commit to showing up with an open heart and trust that what comes onto the page is what is meant to be written and read.

You will always receive my gratitude if you choose to travel this road with me. You most certainly get my respect for being on this journey of life as a human. It’s not easy but it is worth it. I do hope you come along for the journey with me but even if no one else comes along, I am here for me and that is more than enough.

For now, I leave with you some wisdom from Brené Brown, an author I am inspired by for her work about the human experience of vulnerability:

Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy - the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.

Brené Brown